Two days ago my dad called. He has bladder cancer. Prognosis unknown until further tests have been run. I’m one of those women who still call their fathers “Daddy”. I’m not really a Daddy’s Girl (I wish), but Dad never felt intimate enough. I forced myself to call my mother Mom instead of Mommy in my 20’s. I can’t talk about it much yet, I’m a little in shock. He isn’t the most healthy guy by a long shot. I’m not sure he’ll make it, even if it wouldn’t be a killer otherwise. He needs to make it for my stepmom. My brother and I have our own families now, we can cope. My stepmother however has every single person in her family sick with cancer practically. She has two sisters and a mom and an ex-husband (my stepsister’s dad) and now a husband all with cancer. Two of them are “actively dying” (that’s a strange concept). She does not want to tell my stepsister about MY dad yet because HER dad is dying and my sister lives far from any family and gets overwhelmed easily. I feel like she’s going to be mad and resentful about not being told right away. But, what do I know?
Anyway, and last week the news about my mom…. So, what’s next?
Also, I just transitioned off some medication and I’m going through some icky withdrawal symptoms, mostly jittery and dizzy. I’m going to call my nurse practitioner about it tomorrow. There is no lower dose available and they aren’t tablets that you can take half of, they are capsules, but maybe I should go to every other day or something. The way I feel right now there is no way I am going to work on Monday (tomorrow), and I’ve already had the last 3 days off plus the weekend for vacation, so that’s not a great thing. Either I’ll get way behind, or someone else will try to do my work and mess it all up, meaning I’ll have to fix it all. Gah.
On that note, I think I need to go lie down. Your prayers are welcomed.