Shortly after college I realized I had no vision for my life. In college I had studied psychology with an eye toward becoming a Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor. But, in my senior year, the bottom dropped out of that vision when I decided I wasn’t cut out to listen to people’s problems all day. My experience at peer counseling had been successful but draining. I couldn’t put their problems away when I went home. That and the fact that I looked about 17 convinced me not to go further in schooling for that career.
Since then I’ve worked in offices; answering phones, typing letters, doing some desktop publishing. Questions posed to me repeatedly over the ensuing 19 years with my old answers:
“What do you want from life? What are your goals? Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I just want to be happy. That is my goal: a happy life. I don’t know where I see myself. I hope that I am in a happy relationship.
“What would make you happy?”
I don’t know. To be loved I guess.
I have changed my mind. My primary goal is that my life reflects God’s call on my heart. My secondary goal is that my life have meaning to someone besides myself. That I make a difference for the better in someone besides myself. That at least one person on earth will be better off for me having been here to help them or listen to them or advise them. I think it would be grand to have helped many people in the end, but one person will do.
Silently Surviving 
September 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am
I can relate to your thoughts here. Several people have asked my I have bothered going back to school (at the apparently ancient age of 31) and this is the type of stuff I respond with. I don’t think that college is for everybody but for me, it was time. I had been working in retail or customer service for the last 10 years or so and I just thought: this doesn’t MATTER. I am not passionate about this and it makes no difference if I provide this service. True enough, when I left my job at a store, someone filled my shoes and nothing changed there. I want to fill that the small hole I am carving in this world will be noticed if I am not here to fill it, you know?
September 18th, 2007 at 9:14 am
that sounds really good. i love that you seem to be able to be contented and relaxed about the whole thing. it’s wisdom i wish i had more of at times.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I know it’s a tricky deal, that beign a therapist thing. But if it makes you feel any better about all those questions, you already ARE that person to me- the one that helped and made their life better just by listening. I enjoy our conversations and you always seem to help me think about things more clearly.
September 18th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Thanks for stopping by and for your comments. I can relate to a lot of what you have written in your blogs! 🙂
September 18th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
the students won’t see my form. but if the students ever insinuate that i am either a lady or a woman i would tell them i am not. i am a person. you are so right! (the form is in the mentor office room.) the only lady i will ever be is hunter’s.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:20 am
I have a BA in psych and halfway along the way realized that I didn’t want to be a counselor after all and ended up working as a secretary. I’m convinced that 87% of administrative professionals with college degrees were psych majors.
ryc – yeah, my little sister started when she was 8…it’s just not right
September 19th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
that at least one person on earth will be better off because of me. i like that.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I really like that. I have done a lot of thinking about this too.
September 25th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
YOU have made MY life better!