today was a stressful day.
yesterday was an unhappy day.
when people i love are unhappy, i am unhappy.
when i am happy and people i love are unhappy it is stressful.
when i am unhappy and people i love are unhappy it is extra stressful.
misery loves company, but i am not in misery and i’d like to be happy.
i’d like the people i love to be happy when i am happy.
the clock ticks, ticks, ticks,
time moves too slow and too fast,
the moment is gone.
thoughts on the sin nature of gluttony: i know that to eat more than i need is to treat my body poorly, i know that to feed my body with too many processed foods and sugars is not proper caretaking, i know that too eat way too much of bad foods is gluttony, i know that gluttony is a sin, i know that I have a conscious desire to avoid sin, and a conscious desire to avoid eating too much, yet…. presented with a box of donuts or a carton of ice cream, I do not care. I want to eat them, and I want to eat as much as I can get away with eating. I do not binge, I do not purge, I do not have an eating disorder. I just want to eat yummy foods. But if I am the steward of my body, and I am unable to properly care for it, how can I be trusted to steward anything else? What do I lose by missing the mark? What do I gain besides extra weight? Must get something out of it or I wouldn’t do it.
Right?
I would like to take a nap and I would like a drink. Not necessarily in that order. My husband would like it if I would come home instead of blogging I’m sure. 
On my way.
Silently Surviving 
January 24th, 2007 at 8:07 am
Some interesting points you raised about eating unhealthily here. Hoping that tomorrow is less stressful for you.
January 24th, 2007 at 9:25 am
yummy foods not only TASTE good, but they release good-feeling chemicals in your brain. that’s why it feels so good to eat them. so don’t beat yourself up too much just have ONE donut.or two. hope today is better for you i’ll be around, but working, if you want to talk on and off.
January 24th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
a drink and a nap is a better order. i think. i think countless people have proven to be better stewards of other things/people than themselves. i think this is ok. but if you don’t, i think you will fix it. you seem like *that* kind of person. i like it.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
In times like those, I self-medicate on country music and Italian food. There are better ways of coping. There are also worse.
January 26th, 2007 at 10:20 am
i love that you know that 3 days on a weekday are too long for me. yes. my computer is getting a new hard drive as i type. damn. i hope to be back up and running shortly. as for now i am using sugar’s laptop occasionally and going to the labs on campus. it sucks.
January 29th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I don’t know – it’s hard to get caught up in an emotional guilt cycle over eating without feeling spiritually guilty for it also. You don’t want to feel like your spiritual standing with God is dependant on your eating patterns – I say this because I did that for a long time and it just became a feeling of bondage over something that didn’t have to be, equating eating with sin. Anyway, hope your evening is better and less stressful!