I have now officially signed my life away in order to buy a house. I feel like a grown up.

Question: why didn’t I feel quite grown up at 40 without buying a house? I owned a house at 22… definitely didn’t feel like a grown up then.

Then again, I bought that house under false pretenses, pressed by my (unbeknownst to me) con-artist, live-in boyfriend. To be clear, I did know he lived with me, I just didn’t know he was a con-artist until afterwards. Anyway, he talked me into buying this house with his income but on my credit, using a loan where all they do is check your credit rating, they don’t verify your employment. Why anyone would give out this type of loan is far beyond me. Why I would allow myself to be persuaded to do such a thing is a completely different sociological, psychological treatise. Suffice to say I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.

Anyway, that’s all somewhat beside the point of why I feel more grown up today than I did yesterday before signing all the papers for this house. You’d think by 40 years of age one would feel grown up without the outward trappings of “adulthood”. And, mostly I did. I am married, I have stepchildren that I raise and stand in the gap for as a mom, I own a car outright, I have a steady income, and pay my bills on time. Those are “adult” things. Still, I feel that little difference.

In other news: Lots of Christmas parties and other Christmas events coming up. Feeling as I do about my appearance right now, I’m not looking forward to them as much as I might be, because I have nothing special to wear to any of them.  I have pretty jewelry though. I’ll make do somehow. If only I could lose 50 pounds overnight. *sigh*


3 responses to “

  • RegularGoy

    I’m trying very hard not to feel grown up for awhile yet. Grown-up is a step on the way to death.

  • heatheranastasiu

    In a way, I think it’s good to not feel quite ‘grown up’ even as adults.  Buying a house recently myself, I had feelings of, wow – this is adulthood –  college degree, kid, mortgage, minivan.  But if that’s the definition of adulthood, that’s kind of sad.  So we do things to make ourselves feel young and free-ish – go on dates, stay up until 4 in the morning watching movies and eating popcorn, even though we have to be up early the next morning. Just things that kind of keep us fresh and don’t let us enter that zombie-dom of suburban life 🙂
    Also, don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I LOVE your profile pic.

  • Spying_Mom

    You signed early…I thought you were closing on the 15th ??
    “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys’ R us Kid….they’ve got the best for so much less you really flip your lid. More games more toys…OH BOY! I wanna be a Toys’R Us kid!!”
    LMAO..I am such a dork!

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