Depressed. My mother continues to get more and more confused. My youngest kid is pulling teenage shenanigans that depress me. I forgot to take my medicine this morning. I have cramps. I didn’t get enough sleep. we moved stuff in the living room around a bit, and now i don’t like it. so, we’ve got to move it back now. no big deal, just annoying. have an appt with my therapist today though. could be worse.

i want to go home, i want to take a nap, i want to curl myself up into my blanket and hibernate.

My sister-in-law told me a long while ago that when my mom needed to not live alone anymore that she’d be happy to have her live with them. I asked about this today after we talked about my mom’s confusion. “Bob wouldn’t stand for it”. Bob is my older brother. I don’t have room at my house, nor could I deal with it most likely. Hopefully this won’t be an issue for awhile longer. After the kids have moved out maybe? She’d be easy to have around as she’s very easy-going and happy, but hard to have around because she forgets everything and gets confused quickly, but most importantly because she will tell you the same thing over and over and over and over. It makes me sad. It makes me mad. It irritates the hell out of me, which depresses the hell out of me. Also, I’m afraid i’ll be getting like her and it’s scary to watch.

I finished reading Harry Potter. I really liked it and am sorry to have finished the series now. I want the characters in my favorite books to live on and on and I want to hear about them over time. Silly really. It’s not as though they are real, but there you are. It’s what I want anyhow.

Melissa came over this weekend for dinner. It was lovely, and fun. It’s so nice when you meet someone from online and you click just as well in person as you did online.

That’s all for now. Must go find something for stupid cramps.


6 responses to “miscellany

  • BookMark61

    Sandi, I do a lot of ministry work in nursing homes. What you are experiencing in trying to make this decision is one of the hardest a child has to make. Honestly, Bob is clinging to an old school model of “families take care of their own.” 100 years ago, that was true. And 100 years ago, people died much earlier. Today, we need to be realistic that quality of life with dementia (confusion) related illnesses requires full time care and regular medication. I pray you much wisdom and peace as you sort through this issue. I’ve seen it so very often – and it is never easy.With sincere blessings,Brett

  • BookMark61

    PS: Good job on the weight loss effort! I admire anyone and everyone who tries to improve their body, mind and/or spirit.

  • Circus_of_Redemption

    Sounds like you are having a tought time of it! I hope things get better….:)

  • curtin_severn

    you’re only saying that because i brought bread and alcohol.but thank you. i like you too! and your husband just makes good everything. from martinis to chicken!

  • aledawithwings

    I know how those days can be. I hope you’re doing better.
    On the upside, you have alot of control over how you age. Healthy eating and excersize will really help, and also there are alot of good supplements.
    I’m on my second WW day. It is going pretty well. Mostly cause I rarely feel hungry. But I’m realizing how thoroughly under-veggied I am in real life.
    I hope you’re doing well. Thinking of you!

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