My small group is in the process of digging a little deeper with each other and these were the questions sent to reflect upon, though by no means the only questions or with any necessity to respond to any of them. But I did because RIGHT NOW it was important for me to reflect upon them for me, not just for my small group.

1. Where are you in your walk with the Lord? Does He seem close, or far away? Why? How?

He’s only as far away as me remembering to talk to Him. He seems close by, but I often fail to include him in what I’m doing because I’m just not thinking about Him. I wish I could keep Him closer in my consciousness. Hopefully some of the steps I’m taking below will remedy this situation.

2. Where is your faith right now, does it feel strong, or weak? Why? Can you share an example?

My faith right now is both strong and weak. I am always vaguely afraid that I will have the rug pulled out from under me and discover it is all a big virus of false belief in something that doesn’t actually exist. On the other hand, I am frequently reminded that I DO BELIEVE and that I have reasons to believe that make sense. It is hard for me to stand on faith alone, somewhat like standing on a log above a river. I’d rather a full rock outcropping to stand on, jutting out above the river’s rushing waters.

3. How are you feeling about your relationship with Jesus? Good? Bad? Why? What would you like to change?

My relationship with Jesus could be closer, but it feels good. It’s distant but comfortable, maybe too comfortable. I want to know Him better but I need to take the steps to make that happen. Specifically I plan to spend more time reading the Bible and I have decided to apply to Seminary to immerse myself in that relationship, with an outcome leading to God’s calling for me. I am SO EXCITED about this I can hardly stand it!

4. Do you have a mountain in your life at the moment? What is it? How can we pray for you?

Mount Trust blocks my view at every turn. Or maybe it’s Mount Lack-of-trust. It all boils down to fear. When you find out that you cannot trust the people in your life that you implicitly trusted, it becomes a world fraught with fear because it can happen again with anyone in your life, and you don’t know who.

5. Is the Lord asking you to do something that scares you? What is it? How can we support you?

He’s asking me to get to know Him better and He’s asking me to help other people get to know him better. He’s calling me into some form of ministry, possibly intertwined with writing. I’d like more clarity but I am willing to wait and see how it all plays out. “I am the Lord’s servant.” – Luke 1:38

Also, John 7:16-18: Jesus answered, “My teaching is not my own. It comes from him who sent me. If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own. He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.

6. How’s your prayer life? Are you spending time alone with the Lord? How is that affecting your life?

I pray a lot throughout the day, but I get distracted easily and forget what I am doing. I need to be spending more time reading the Bible, memorizing scripture. To this end I have made some changes to my Internet Home Page to bring me face to face with the scriptures every time I go online. As this is all day long most work days, this should help monumentally. Just making the change felt good.

7. Does the Lord have a theme in your life right now? What is it? What are you learning?

Patience and Waiting on the Lord. Not making wrong decisions in order to have made a decision, but waiting to make the RIGHT decisions. I’m learning to seek God’s will by keeping still and listening for when things fall into place in the way that tells me “This is Right, this is Good, this is Truth, this is why I made you wait, this is of the Lord.” And then, having the courage to make those decisions and follow-through on them.