Just…. blah. I’m hot, my office feels stuffy, I’m feeling depressed, though not overly so, I don’t feel like good company right now, not even for myself.
I took a walk at lunch today to buy a sandwich and a cookie. It’s about a 4 block walk to the deli or so. It’s kind of hard to say with the block lengths around here. That felt good to be outside. The sun was out and there was a small breeze. I was a little over-warm but not too bad. I was blaring my tunes on my mp3 player so the noise from the nearby freeway made no impact. One of the companies near us was having a little company barbecue with picnic tables and lots of great smelling food. I wanted to march right over and sit down, but I didn’t.
I’m tired and bored more than anything else I guess. Sleep sounds righteously grand right now.
The stepson moves back in this weekend, then school starts, and small groups start back up, and a Bible Study I have lined up starts later in September, and I might start taking one class at the massage school this term which would start in late September as well. Life is about to get busy again. This is probably a good thing.
Things I have to be grateful for:
- My husband loves me whether he is happy with me or unhappy.
- My stepdaughters love me and frequently tell me so.
- I have a stable job, even if it’s boring.
- My job is relatively simple to do, even though I’d like something interesting.
- I live in a house and not an apartment anymore, so I have no noisy neighbors above or below.
- I have numerous friends who love me for some reason.
- My husband is supporting my bid to get my massage license again.
- We make a decent income and don’t have to scrimp and scrape every penny.
- I usually have several hours of free time every evening in which I can do as I like.
- I have a car that runs almost all the time.
- My mom thinks I’m awesome.
- My kitty likes to curl up with me at night.
- I’m healthy for the most part, even if i could be healthier, I have the use of all limbs and body parts.
- I have my sight and my hearing. Some people don’t.
- I play a game most nights online with a group of friends that make me laugh.
- I have a goal and the beginnings of the plan to get to it.
- My goal doesn’t seem impossible or out of reach.
- My doctor gives me Xanax to keep my anxiety under control.
- I have an individual therapist that definitely cares about me and understands me. (After 12 years, one hopes!)
- My problems are the problems of the well off and pampered, not the poor and needy. Everything could be worse, even if everything could be better too. Somebody elses problems would make mine look like blessings.
So, thanks God for all your blessings. I will try to focus on them today and not on my deficiencies and problems.